Sunday, May 5, 2013

Fools give full vent

Bryan and I often disagree on the way to approach situations.  He is quite emotional and wants to jump on things immediately.  I, on the other hand, like to mull things over in my mind and formulate a plan.  I like to make sure that everything, including the timing, is thought through.  With that in mind these two scriptures kept coming to my mind today:

A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger,
   but an unkind answer will cause more anger.
Proverbs 15:1

Foolish people lose their tempers,
    but wise people control theirs.
Proverbs 29:11

In the NIV Proverbs 29 reads, "Fools give full vent to their anger."  Anger has been a recurring theme for me over the last four days.  I have had to remember these wise words and heed them.  

Monday we were sent here to MUSC to further pursue Brinkley's respiratory issues.  Thursday, despite my pleas otherwise, we were discharged.  We were discharged with no further information, with no new tests or procedures.  We did not see the specialists that I asked for.  We didn't get the care that I felt Brinkley deserved and I wasn't heard when I pleaded for help.  

I was so irate that I lost it and cried as I was pleading with the attending doctor to hear me out and not send us home.  Not knowing where else to turn I called Dr Raunikar for advice and help.  The doctors here did not appreciate that I called him and did not want to wait for me to speak to him before sending us home.  

Word spread quickly through the GHS PICU about our situation and soon my phone was buzzing.  The incredible staff were doing their best to try to help me and point me in the right direction to get Brinkley the help he needs.  I can not tell you how big a blessing the doctors and nurses there have been to us.  I know that they love my boy.  

I told the attending doctor that I was not leaving town because Brinkley would flair up again and we need help.  Just as I suspected, around 5 am Friday morning he woke up gagging on his formula.  He soon started breathing erratically and his 02 numbers got low.  I took him to the ER at MUSC and told the ER doctor everything that had happened.  He was WONDERFUL, incredibly helpful and caring.  

We were readmitted and placed with the same group of doctors.  I was a bit disheartened and concerned about how much progress we would make.  Things quickly started going downhill again.  Fortunately, a Pulmonologist came in that was great and refused to back down to the attending doctor.  She had Brinkley in for a CT scan of the chest within a couple of hours.  More issues arose with the intern and my anger levels increased.  Saturday the Pulmonologist came back and told me the scan showed that both of Brinkley's lung were partially collapsed.  (This created even more anger for the lack of care the attending doctor and intern were giving us.)  Later in the afternoon I finally got the GI consult that I had been begging for.  The ER doctor and the Pulmonologist both agreed that we needed it and requested it for us.  (Somehow it didn't seem important to the attending doctor to call in a GI when we are dealing with reflux aspiration.)  Both of these specialists were wonderful and very helpful.  These two doctors wanted to do the scopes that GHS had suggested.  We will start these scopes tomorrow and should have some information on Wednesday or Thursday.  

In the process of all of this happening I was conferring with a friend who is familiar with the way the hospital works and asking for the proper channels to voice my concerns to.  As the friend suggested I tried to start with the nurses but that didn't go quite the way expected.  Things got further out of control with the intern and I could not deal with any more.  I had remained quite calm and composed, but was not willing to deal with it anymore.  This morning I came for rounds and then headed out to speak to a supervisor.  I was able to speak to the Children's Hospital Supervisor and she was very helpful and understanding.  The doctor and intern will no longer be treating Brinkley or dealing with our family.  

There is much more to the story that I will spare you for the sake of time, but things were horrible.  I truly feel like I have been living a nightmare.  I never imagined that things could have gotten this far out of control.  This has been one of the worst experiences of my life. It would have been easy to let the frustration and anger take over, but as the scriptures above reminded me, we get a lot further when we control our tempers.  

Though Bryan and I did not completely agree about how to handle this situation, I feel like my anger and temper were under control.  I was able to peacefully talk to the proper people to have my concerns heard and addressed.  To further remind me of how to handle this situation, these two scriptures showed us as my verses of the day: 

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 HCSB

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.  2 Timothy 2:15

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