Let's get messy

Ministry is messy.  People's lives are messy and when you build relationships with them you often have to walk through their mess.  The mess makes it easy to get jaded and burned out.  We have walked with teens and families through many losses and changes in life.  Many of those experiences have forever changed us and those families.  We often cry and lose sleep over the issues that are facing those we serve.  Sometimes it is hard to see past the hurt of those we serve.  It can also be hard to see past the pity parties and complaints that we are subjected to.  Many times you want to throw your hands up, walk away, and hide.  If you serve in ministry and you haven't felt this way you are either brand new and haven't gotten there yet or you are lying to yourself.  (Yes, I just made that bold statement.  Yes, I wholeheartedly believe that.)

Right now, however, is another season for me.  It's been one of those where the Lord reminds me over and over again of the sweet privilege of being a part of peoples' lives. He's reminding me of the rewards of being faithful to not give up when it gets messy. That is not to say that things are drama free (is ministry ever drama free?), it's just that I'm being open to seeing the blessings in it all.  

Earlier this month I attended an incredible wedding.  As the wife of a former youth pastor, we are often invited to or asked to participate in weddings of former students. Usually, we are close to either the bride or the groom.  One or the other was a part of our ministry and we may not have met the spouse until wedding prep began. 

Snagged from Ashely's Facebook page

 Aaron and Ashley, were different though.  Aaron had been in our ministry since middle school and Ashley joined the group when she was in high school. They met in the youth group, summer beach camp to be exact.  We watched their relationship grow and bloom over the years and were more than thrilled when we got a call from Aaron last summer. He told Bryan that he was planning to propose and wanted to make sure that Bryan would be available to perform the service.  A few days later, their engagement video went viral.  You can watch it here.

Both Aaron and Ashley were very involved in the youth group and we were able to spend a lot of time with them over the years.  I couldn't help but cry as I watched Ashley walk down the aisle.  It felt like my own children were getting married.  There was something extra special about the night.  It was perfectly them.  Some of the tears came from the realization that it is such a privilege to be a part of these kids lives.  

I wish I could adequately express what was going on in my heart and mind as I sat there.  I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for being able to be a part of their lives.  Not only their lives but the lives of their families and of many of the other guests.  We had a youth group reunion outside the reception space.  

This picture represents hours spent in an urgent care office for bones broken at camp, tears over family problems, parents with serious legal issues and jail time, and struggles to finish high school to name a few.  I can't help but cry and smile as I look at that picture because it not only represents those issues I just listed, but it also represents three young men that are serving in ministry positions, youth and children's ministry volunteers, and former ministry leaders.  

Today was another one of those moments.  About three years ago a family walked into our church for the first time.  As we were talking to them we learned that their two youngest boys were foster children.  Over the next months and year we got to know them and their story.  Two years ago I had the privilege of sitting in the courtroom the day a judge made them a forever family.  Adoption and foster care are messy.  We've walked that road ourselves.  An adoption certificate doesn't make it any less messy.  Every day there are struggles as our kids have come from hard places.  Today marked another milestone for their family and another privilege for me.  I wasn't sitting today, but standing on the bank of the lake watching those two boys be baptized. Again, I was in tears thinking about how special the moment was and how lucky I was to be beside them.  

What I've realized over the last few weeks is that ministry is messy, but it is also a huge honor and privilege. Who else gets to be a part of so many pieces of people's lives? Embrace the mess and wade through it!  It's in the mess that you earn the privilege of sharing in the celebration.  

Here's where we stand

It's been a long time coming, but I've got great things to report about my boys.  

Let's start with Reese.  

First off, I covet your prayers as we have ventured into unknown territory.  This week Reese will start seeing a new developmental/behavioral specialist and in June we will be adding another doctor to the mix.  Our hope is that the additional doctor will help manage his anxiety and OCD, as well as, help us determine if he also has a learning disability.  

He will finish first grade next week and has done really well with Math, Science, Social Studies, and Related Arts.  Reading and Writing are tougher for him, but he has made great progress in reading.  He has made other improvements at school with the help and encouragement of his teacher (Mrs. Wigington), his guidance counselor (Ms. Lee), and his assistant principal (Mr. E).  They have gone above and beyond with him and he loves school.  Today he met his new teacher and classmates for second grade.  We will start praying now as she has big shoes to fill!  Reese LOVES Mrs. Wigington, and I think the feeling is mutual.  No, I know it is!  She has been such a blessing to him and us.  

This winter he played basketball in the local rec league.  His 6 & under team included several children that he goes to school with.  They were the league champions!  In April, he started archery lessons and he is doing VERY well.  His instructor has been great with him and he loves the lessons.  This summer we are looking into karate as well.  

Now for Brinkley

This kid never ceases to amaze me.  We've had a few ear infections and sinus and allergy issues lately, but otherwise his health is great!  Thank the Lord for ear and sinus infections.   I know that sounds crazy, but to me these are typical kid problems and I love him being a typical kid!  Overall, Brinkley is a healthy little guy!  We're seeing Endocrinology every four months with the plan being to take him off the thyroid meds for a trial period in the next couple of years.  For now his thyroid is well managed.  Since we continue to be free from any neurological problems, neurology is only seeing us twice a year.  Developmental Peds and Genetics only need to see us once a year.  Due to the severity of his sleep apnea, we continue to see sleep medicine every three to four months.  

Brinkley's eye doctor only needs to see him once a year.  We continue to see the ENT every three to four months to keep a check on the tube in one ear and to determine when we can attempt to put a tube in the other ear.  The GI is seeing us twice a year, as is the nutritionist.  Last week we saw Dr. Raunikar, our cardiologist, and got the best news yet.  We only have to see him once a year now.  The cardiologist that manages his pacemaker has also given us clearance to only see her once a year.  We send electronic transmissions every three months.  As of last week, we still have three years of battery left on his pacemaker.  

As for therapy, Brinkley is consistently walking with his walker.  After months (literally 4-6 months) of fighting insurance to get him a walker of his own, we finally got it last week.  He is making a lot of progress with his speech and his vocabulary is growing every day.  Occupational therapy is also going well.  We were able to get his braces cut down this month, so now they only come up to his ankles.  

Our biggest surprise has been that he has grown 1 inch and nearly 3 pounds in the last 5 weeks!  (He's up to 23 pounds and 30 inches.)   This is HUGE!  It generally takes months for him to gain a pound. He just may make the growth chart by his birthday.  Speaking of his birthday, next week we will meet with the preschool staff at Reese's school to officially prepare for Brinkley to enroll in the K3 program in the fall.  WHAT!!!  It's hard to imagine my tiny little guy going to school. He's ready though.  He loves playing with other kids and he enjoys sitting down and working on projects like coloring, drawing, cutting, and gluing.    

As you can see, we are doing well and appreciate your continued prayers and support!  

Polar Dipper

As a parent, some days are exhausting.  Some days are great, some ok, and some make you want to throw your hands up and crawl back in bed.  Today was a day that made me proud.  

This morning we were up bright and early.  It was team picture day for basketball and we were scheduled to arrive by 7:50 am.   I got Reese outfitted in his uniform and packed up some layers for our adventure that was to follow the game.  

After a great win (28-8), we jumped in the car and headed to the marina at our local lake.  I explained to Reese that we were going to a fundraiser where people would be jumping in the lake.  He wanted to know what they were raising money for so I explained. The goal of the plunge was to raise money for Pennies 4 Preemies to help them support the Children's Miracle Network and local families of preemies and/or children with special needs.  

After telling Reese that people were raising money to help little babies like Brinkley, he asked if he could give money.  Recently he lost his first tooth and he has managed to rack up some money from the tooth fairy and various family members.  My cousin was jumping as a representative of the restaurant that he manages (a sponsor of the event).  I told Reese that he could give Dustin his money and it would go to help the babies.  

When we arrived and saw Dustin, Reese took four quarters out and gave it to Dustin.  Dustin turned the money in and I thought that would be the end of it.  A little later Reese pulled out the treasure box he was keeping his money in and pulled out his five dollar bill and more quarters.  He wanted to give this to the babies also.  This time he accompanied Dustin to the station to turn his money in.  I was nearly in tears as he has been fiercely guarding this money.  

Moments like this are the ones that make me forget about the headaches, messes, hair pulling, and general frustration.  These are the moments where I stop and think maybe I'm not a total parenting failure.  Something is getting through to him and he is listening.  I'm not so sure that it is always me that he is listening too, but I am pretty sure that he is listening to the little stirrings the Lord puts in his heart.  

As if that weren't enough, he went to the Krispy Kreme station and paid for several donuts and only took one.  He wanted the lady to give them to someone else.  (Granted, he's not allowed to eat donuts and I had no idea he had done this until I caught him with the doughnut in his mouth.)  

Before we left he visited the mobile boutique that was on site and told the owner that he wanted to buy me a necklace.  He picked one out and paid the lady for it.   By this time he only had a couple of dollars left, but the lady thought he was so sweet that she gave it to him for two dollars.  

Is this kid really six years old?  Some days he seems like the oldest little soul.  What a gift he is!  Days like this help me get through the ones where I feel like a total failure.

As a side note, Reese decided that he wanted to take the plunge with Dustin.  After some time to think about it he decided to take a dip instead.  He "pushed" Dustin in and then he went down the ladder until he was waist deep.  That was enough!  After his dip he played in the dirt on the shore for quite a while and got NASTY.  He looked up and me a little higher up the bank and said, "Mommy, this is the best day ever!"  

I love my little polar dipper! 

Throwback Thursday

So today has not been our general, run of the mill, Thursday.  First of all, Bryan is out of the country.  He and our church's worship leader are serving in Guatemala this week.  They are part of a team from Take Heart Ministries that is hosting a Christmas celebration for the children of Casa Shalom Orphanage.  

Bryan normally takes Reese to school.  Since he is away, I have been doing drop off and pick up from school.  This morning I quickly picked Brinkley up out of the bed, changed his diaper and stuck him in the car for the trip to school.  He was still in pj's and had not eaten breakfast.  Thinking this would be a quick trip I didn't even grab the diaper bag.  The plan was to return home, feed him, dress him, and get to therapy at 9:15 am.  Let me tell you, that didn't happen.  

As I was driving through the car line I noticed that the man behind me was getting out of his car and walking toward mine.  I couldn't think of any reason I would have caused road rage and I wasn't holding up the line, so I was a little concerned.  I rolled down the window and the gentleman told me that my back passenger side tire was going flat.  This was no surprise because Reese has been very adamant that he poked a hole in the tire over the weekend.  He has diligently checked the tire everyday waiting to see the "fruits of his labor".  He wondered what would happen if he stuck a thumb tack in the tire and chose to find out for himself rather than just asking about it.  

There is a gas station just down the road from the school so I went straight there to attempt to air in the tire.  I put my $0.75 in the machine and connected the hose to my tire.  No luck!  The nozzle on the hose was broken so no air was going into the tire at all.   I have never changed a tire in my life.  Though I'm sure that I could have figured it out, I wasn't convinced that I could actually manage the tires.  I called my sister-in-law to ask where to take to tire to have it fixed, but then couldn't get her back on the phone to let her know I needed more help.  

Next up was my uncle.  I wasn't sure what time he goes to work, but they live relatively close by to where I was so it was worth a shot.  Unfortunately, he had already gone to work and was on a job in a town an hour or more away.  However, he had a coworker working in the area and was sending him to help me.  In the meantime, I got sister-in-law number 2 on the phone and she was sending her husband to help.  Just after I got off the phone with him my uncle's coworker arrived.  

The brief version, it took a while to get the car situated and get access to the spare.  Got the spare on, it was flatter than the original tire.  The kind gentleman was going to follow me to the gas station a little further up the road to pump up the spare, but we couldn't locate his truck keys.  We looked for quiet a while.  In the meantime, several phone calls were made and my cousin was on his way to get us.  

Brinkley was screaming like a crazy man.  I had planned to feed him when we got home, which by this time was more than an hour earlier.  He was cold with only his pj's and a blanket and I left the diaper bag at home.  Translation: no food, no drinks, no snacks, and no diapers.  

After a lot of searching we located the keys in a very obscure place and my cousin arrived to pick up Brinkley and I.  Andy, my cousin, took us to pick up Bryan's car.  Between there and home (5 minutes) Brinkley managed to find a glass of water and pour it all over himself and his blanket.  He was soaked!  My uncle plans to deal with the tire and move my car from the gas station later today.  

In honor of Andy saving the day I'm devoting my throwback Thursday to him.  

It doesn't seem like this little guy should be old enough to be coming to my rescue.  This was the two of us at a wedding in 2002 or 2003.  He'll be 20 next month!  Thanks Andy you are the hero of the day!  

I left home at 7:30 am this morning to drop Reese off and made it back home around 10:15 am.  That was one LONG trip to school!  

In case you are wondering, Brinkley didn't make it to therapy today.  

Isaac's Christmas Wish

What a privilege it was to be a part of Isaac's Christmas wish.  I could have never imagined when we made the drive to Cincinnati to help deliver these gifts that we would have our own child on the receiving end a few years later. 


Holidays are tough for families who are hospitalized.  Many of these families are far from home and their families.  Unless you have been on the receiving end, you can't imagine the impact that a small gift can make on these families.  


This year Bryan and I will be delivering gifts to children at the Greenville Children's Hospital on December 23rd with Happy Wheels.  If your family would like to contribute a toy for a child (ages birth-18) contact me and I will make arrangements to get them from you.  Happy Wheels is a 501c3, so all gifts are tax deductible.  Please consider giving in honor of Brinkley and Isaac.  


Praise the Lord that both boys (Isaac and Brinkley) are doing well and plan to be home with their families this Christmas!

Down Syndrome Awareness Month

It's Down Syndrome Awareness Month and we want to help you learn more about DS.

If you want to follow our daily posts be sure to "like" Team Brinkley on facebook.  You can find it here.

Here's a recap of what we've shared so far:

We've also shared these two special stories:

Meet Carter Murai.  He's a 7 year old that is making history as the first young model with DS to speak in a marketing campaign.  Here's his commercial:

Tim Harris is a 28 year old man who was voted Homecoming King and Student of the Year when he graduated from high school. Tim graduated from Eastern New Mexico University where he studied Food Service. He has traveled the world on a sailboat. Early in his teen years, Tim began to dream of owning his own restaurant. In 2010 that dream became a reality with the opening of Tim's Place. You can learn more about Tim here:

http://timtheman.com/

or here:
http://timsplaceabq.com/

Family-versary

In the midst of our craziness last week I nearly forgot about a super important milestone for our family.  Sunday marked our 3rd family-versary.  What is a family-versary you ask? It's the anniversary of the day that we finalized Reese's adoption and he legally became a Holder.  What a blessing God gave us nearly six years ago when we became the foster parents of the most beautiful six month old baby boy you've ever seen!  It took nearly three years to finalize his adoption, but we never doubted for a moment that he was ours.  The Lord's hand was so evident through the whole journey.  

Our family has changed a lot over the last six years.  The top picture is in the court room just after Judge Anderson declared Reese officially adopted (September 28, 2011).  The next row is the day Reese came home (December 22, 2008) and early 2010.  The bottom row in the day that Reese met Brinkley (September 9, 2012) and just after we brought Brinkley home in November 2012.  

Reese is not only a blessing to us, but he is one terrific big brother!  I love seeing my boys play together.  Their love for each other shows in everything that they do.  Reese has a heart like none other and is constantly thinking of his baby brother.  He always wants Brinkley to be included in the things that we do.  He hurts for Brinkley and worries about him when they are not together.  

Reese is truly one of a kind and I could not imagine our family without him.  He is endearing and one of the most loving children you will ever meet.  I love his heart for others.  He is very kind and compassionate and you can't help but love that sweet southern drawl.  

Mommy loves you Reese and is honored and blessed that God chose us to be your forever family!