A Life Changing Summer

It was the summer of 1999 and I was 20 years younger (and almost as many pounds lighter).  I was in between my junior and senior year of college and eager to make the most of my summer.  I accepted a position at a local church to serve with their youth and kids for the summer.  (What were they thinking hiring a 20-year-old kid to manage other kids?!?!?)  It was a church that I had driven by hundreds of times but had never been inside of and didn't know anyone that attended there.  In a way, I was nervous about the responsibility I had taken on but I was naive enough to think I had it figured out.  

What I didn't know was that I was about to experience the best summer of my life!  

Just as I suspected, I didn't know any of the students or kids, but that changed quickly.  I soon fell in love with the students and many of their families that welcomed me in with open arms.  Relationships formed quickly and some of them were almost effortless.  It was as if we were just meant to be together.  We experienced a lot of things together that summer.  Some of them were funny, some frustrating, and some serious.  

1999 Youth Group

  

 I'll never forget the day that I was handed the keys to the church van for the first time.  I loaded up a hand full of middle schoolers and hit the road for a pool party.  It's a good thing that I was naive enough to be adventurous.  I had NEVER driven a big van before.  I am not sure that the staff or parents were aware of that and it was a good thing we only drove about 10 minutes away.  (Sorry to inform you now parents!)  That van and I became quite well acquainted by the end of the summer.  I even had my first mom moment in that van when I pulled over on the side of the road and had a come to Jesus meeting with some little boys on the way home from a kids day trip.  

There were some tense and frustrating moments at beach camp when a camper from another church made some terrible accusations about me that were blatant lies.  There were times when students shared very deep and personal things about their families and I was able to walk through those situations with them.  I didn't have answers for them, but I did have love and time and that's what I gave them.  

One of my favorite memories from that beach camp.  Macho Man and Gorgeous George.

It was, and still is, a privilege to be trusted to lead and love these kids and students.  It was one of the greatest privileges of my life.  There were some great relationships formed and I have been privileged to be a part of other stages of their lives as well.  I've been to and a part of their weddings, their baby showers, cared for their children, and sadly been through losses with them.  Some of those losses have been their beloved family members and unfortunately, some of those losses have been the students themselves.  

Yesterday I walked into the doors of that church again.  This time was different though.  I wasn't there to see one of my kids married off or there for a shower to celebrate the next addition to their family.  I was there to say a final goodbye and to mourn with one of those families.  Yesterday, I said a final goodbye to the second one of my students.  We lost our friend Robert in 2016 and last week we lost Rebekah.  

Rebekah and I at beach camp.

As I followed her family's Facebook posts on Thursday, I cried and prayed all day for the Lord to intervene and save her from whatever toxin had taken over her body and quickly took her life.  I have cried every day since thinking about the precious life that ended too soon.  

Though I don't understand and doubt that I ever will, I do know that God is a good, good father.  I do know that it is a privilege to be a part of people's lives (the good, the bad, and the hard parts).  Ministry is a unique honor and privilege.  Being trusted to lead and guide people and being given the privilege of being a part of their highest highs and lowest lows is one that I hope I never take for granted.  

Despite the pain, the tears, and the sleepless nights, it's all worth it.  I can't thank that church, it's staff, and those parents enough for the privilege of being welcomed into and trusted in the lives of their children.  Thank you for allowing me this honor.  It was a blessing then to call them my students and is a blessing today to call them my friends.  

The "gang"

*Thank you to Rebekah for the photo album that I treasure.  

A Dream Coming True

In September my high school class held its 20th reunion.  I was not able to attend the reunion, but it did stir up a lot of memories of my high school years.  The things that stand out to me the most were the prom, dance recitals, church basketball, my sweet 16 birthday party, and youth retreats.  To this day when I walk into the Anderson Civic Center or the Fine Arts Center at Anderson University the memories flood in of some many fun nights that I shared with my friends.  For many, too many, children these are experiences that they will never have.  Through no fault of their own, they live in circumstances that make these rites of passage unattainable.  

This fact became a reality to me about five years ago.  Our niece was in the 5th grade at the time and was planning for the big field trip to Washington, DC.  We had participated in several fundraisers that she and her classmates were doing to raise the needed money for the trip.  At that time I was involved with a local foster parent association and was responsible for the emails.  An email came to me from a caseworker explaining that a child in care wanted to participate in this trip but the foster mom could not pay the full amount.  The caseworker was asking for assistance to cover the remaining cost for the child.  After reaching out to a few people I was able to get the needed funds and the child was able to participate in what was likely a once in a lifetime experience.  

It was that day that the wheels in my head and heart started turning and a dream was born.  I didn't know when or how, but I knew that someday I would make these dreams a reality for kids in need.  Over the last few years that dream continued to grow and I started putting things down on paper and figuring out how to make it happen.  In February of this year, I contacted a consulting firm and officially started the process.  I reached out to a few like minded people and created a board of directors.  

On September 28, 2016 (Reese's adoption day anniversary) we received official notification from the IRS that we have been approved as a 501(c)3.  It is with great pleasure that I present to you: 

A Night To Remember exists to create positive, memorable experiences that would otherwise be unattainable for children with special needs or living in the foster care system.  Our goal is to provide these children with typical experiences such as birthday parties, scholarships to participate in recreational activities, provide equipment for recreational activities, prom, field trips, youth trips, etc.  

I will gladly share more details with you and tell you how you can be involved.  We are currently building our website and Facebook pages.  You can like our Facebook page and follow us as we take the next few weeks to get ourselves established and prepare to fundraise this winter.  

One way that you can support us is by purchasing a 2017 calendar featuring the very children we are seeking to reach out to.  Our calendar is full of former foster children and children who have special needs.  The calendars are $10 and we will be taking preorders through Wednesday, November 23rd.  Calendars should be available for delivery the first week of December.  The price may increase for calendars ordered after the 11/23 deadline.  Here's a little preview of some of the sweet faces you will be able to admire all year long: 

Let's get messy

Ministry is messy.  People's lives are messy and when you build relationships with them you often have to walk through their mess.  The mess makes it easy to get jaded and burned out.  We have walked with teens and families through many losses and changes in life.  Many of those experiences have forever changed us and those families.  We often cry and lose sleep over the issues that are facing those we serve.  Sometimes it is hard to see past the hurt of those we serve.  It can also be hard to see past the pity parties and complaints that we are subjected to.  Many times you want to throw your hands up, walk away, and hide.  If you serve in ministry and you haven't felt this way you are either brand new and haven't gotten there yet or you are lying to yourself.  (Yes, I just made that bold statement.  Yes, I wholeheartedly believe that.)

Right now, however, is another season for me.  It's been one of those where the Lord reminds me over and over again of the sweet privilege of being a part of peoples' lives. He's reminding me of the rewards of being faithful to not give up when it gets messy. That is not to say that things are drama free (is ministry ever drama free?), it's just that I'm being open to seeing the blessings in it all.  

Earlier this month I attended an incredible wedding.  As the wife of a former youth pastor, we are often invited to or asked to participate in weddings of former students. Usually, we are close to either the bride or the groom.  One or the other was a part of our ministry and we may not have met the spouse until wedding prep began. 

Snagged from Ashely's Facebook page

 Aaron and Ashley, were different though.  Aaron had been in our ministry since middle school and Ashley joined the group when she was in high school. They met in the youth group, summer beach camp to be exact.  We watched their relationship grow and bloom over the years and were more than thrilled when we got a call from Aaron last summer. He told Bryan that he was planning to propose and wanted to make sure that Bryan would be available to perform the service.  A few days later, their engagement video went viral.  You can watch it here.

Both Aaron and Ashley were very involved in the youth group and we were able to spend a lot of time with them over the years.  I couldn't help but cry as I watched Ashley walk down the aisle.  It felt like my own children were getting married.  There was something extra special about the night.  It was perfectly them.  Some of the tears came from the realization that it is such a privilege to be a part of these kids lives.  

I wish I could adequately express what was going on in my heart and mind as I sat there.  I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for being able to be a part of their lives.  Not only their lives but the lives of their families and of many of the other guests.  We had a youth group reunion outside the reception space.  

This picture represents hours spent in an urgent care office for bones broken at camp, tears over family problems, parents with serious legal issues and jail time, and struggles to finish high school to name a few.  I can't help but cry and smile as I look at that picture because it not only represents those issues I just listed, but it also represents three young men that are serving in ministry positions, youth and children's ministry volunteers, and former ministry leaders.  

Today was another one of those moments.  About three years ago a family walked into our church for the first time.  As we were talking to them we learned that their two youngest boys were foster children.  Over the next months and year we got to know them and their story.  Two years ago I had the privilege of sitting in the courtroom the day a judge made them a forever family.  Adoption and foster care are messy.  We've walked that road ourselves.  An adoption certificate doesn't make it any less messy.  Every day there are struggles as our kids have come from hard places.  Today marked another milestone for their family and another privilege for me.  I wasn't sitting today, but standing on the bank of the lake watching those two boys be baptized. Again, I was in tears thinking about how special the moment was and how lucky I was to be beside them.  

What I've realized over the last few weeks is that ministry is messy, but it is also a huge honor and privilege. Who else gets to be a part of so many pieces of people's lives? Embrace the mess and wade through it!  It's in the mess that you earn the privilege of sharing in the celebration.