Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Change of plans...

I always find it funny how God takes my plans and morphs them into something totally different.  (Ok, so maybe it is really more like me finally seeing what God really intended verses my version of what I thought He intended.)  I opened this blog nearly 3 years ago with the intention of using it as a way to share the information I was learning about living with my son's food allergies.  I did well for a week or two and then things fizzled out for any number of reasons.  A lot has happened over 3 years (a miscarriage, finalizing our adoption, and starting a new church to name a few things) and I am back with a new mission.  

After having a miscarriage is September of 2010, we waited a while before deciding to seriously try again for another pregnancy.  We found out in February of this year that we were expecting.  We were elated, but very careful not to talk about it too quickly after the first experience.  After 8 weeks and a successful ultra sound, we told our family and waited until the 12 week mark to be public about our news.  Because of the miscarriage, Dr Frederick (she is WONDERFUL!) followed us very closely.  At our 20 week ultra sound things took an unexpected twist.  We found out that it was another boy (I always said I would be a mom of boys because I wouldn't know what to do with a prissy girl) and that something didn't seem quite right.  Dr Frederick suggested an ultra sound at a high risk office at our hospital and some blood work that I had previously declined.  

To make a long story short, we did the blood work, an ultra sound, and an amniocentesis to find out that our son was positive for Trisomy 21, more commonly known as Down Syndrome.  This led to more testing and ultra sounds to look for common complications and conditions that can come with Down's.  Within another 2 weeks we also knew that he had a congenital heart defect called Tetraology of Fallot.  This was a lot to take in to say the least.  A pregnancy that we were so excited and hopeful for had just become one we were confused and scared to death about.  (I am sure that I will share more about that journey in another post.)

This pregnancy was rough!  Not only were we dealing with the shock of having a special needs child, I was incredibly sick up until about 30 weeks.  Aside from being sick, each visit to the many specialist we saw brought some new twist to the plot.  Our last appointment with the high risk specialist was on Tuesday, September 4th. (I was seeing them 2-3 times a week at this point).  At that appointment I was 34 weeks and the Dr decided that things had gotten to a critical point and sent me straight to the hospital to be admitted.  I laid in a hospital bed for a few days on pins and needles with the team of specialists (for me and the baby) and my OBGYN going back and forth about what to do.  On Thursday the 6th around 1pm my nurse came in the room and told me to get ready they were coming to get me to do surgery within the hour.  Thanks for the notice Dr's! (They had left us under the impression they were planning for Friday.)  I was at the hospital all alone as my husband had gone to pick our son up from preschool and spend a little time with him before sending him off to the next family member's house.  

Our Brinkley came at 4:32pm by way of C-section weighing in at a whopping 3 lbs and 2.2 oz.  To the amazement of everyone involved in the delivery he came out crying like any other healthy baby!  I never thought the cry of a baby would be such a beautiful sound.  I know that all parents probably feel that way, but to be told that your baby will require manual resuscitation and the assistance of a ventilator to breathe normally for the first part of his life made that sound a miracle in our hearts!  

From that moment we have seen God do one thing after another in our sweet Brinkley's short life.  I can't imagine what God has in store for this little guy, but it must be big the way that he is amazing everyone around him.  God is good even when we don't understand and when his plan is different than ours.  I never imagined that I would be the mother of a special needs child, but I think that I already see him doing so much more for me than I could ever do for him.  He is a strong little guy and everyday I tell him that he is my little champ!  A few months ago I saw a verse that I had read many times before, but it took on such a new meaning for me.  The Lord gave me a peace to know that this is what he says to my little Brinkley.  

Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;

Jeremiah 1:5 (MSG)

 “Before I shaped you in the womb,
    I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
    I had holy plans for you:

I'm not sure what he has been set apart for, but the Lord knows and it is my job to pray for him and to teach him to trust and listen to the Lord.  It is my prayer that despite the obstacles that he will face in this life that he will know above all else that he was set apart and that he will diligently seek out that purpose for which he was set apart.  I look forward to that journey and already feel blessed to be a part of it.  

1 comment:

  1. this is amazing. you are a wonderful mommy. and you have amazing faith. thanks for sharing your journey with us.
    megan Galan