If you couldn't tell from yesterday's post, I was a little discouraged and felt a bit defeated. Well, today is a new day. I had a break down this morning before I ever got out the door, so I was afraid it was going to be a long hard day again. One thing that I have learned over the last few years is not to be afraid to be real and ask for help. I am a very private person and don't often let on when things are bothering me. I like to deal with things on my own, so telling someone that I need help is really hard for me.
This morning I sent a text to a new friend that I met a few months ago who has a child with Down's. Her husband is also a pastor, so we had a few things in common to help us make a connection. I asked her to pray for me and told her that the last couple days have been hard. We exchanged a few texts and I knew that she was lifting me up. I received the last message from her as I was pulling in to the hospital parking deck. It was like I got an instant confirmation of her prayers. A lady was pulling out of a spot right in front of me. That may not seem like much, but it was the boost that I needed to know that things were looking better for today. (Generally at 9 am the deck is almost completely full and I have to park on the far other side.)
I walked into Brinkley's room and saw the nurse's log sheet for the day and saw that he was 4 lbs 12 oz. Yesterday he had dropped down to 4 lbs 8 oz. On top of that our primary nurse was back on duty. (In NICU it is important to have a primary nurse, because she will spend time learning your baby. Our two primaries know him and his signs as well as I do.) This set me up to be more hopeful about his feedings. His 9 am bottle went ok, not spectacular, but ok. The most encouraging thing was that he was very alert and "begging" for his noon bottle.
Because of his heart condition (it tires him out quickly) we don't generally give him two bottles back to back, but Nurse Charlotte thought that we should try it since he seemed so ready. That was a GOOD decision! He took it so well and hardly had any left. I am so thankful for Charlotte and Connie (our other nurse). They love my little guy and want to help me help him succeed. I am not afraid to admit that I don't know much about newborns and I know even less about a special needs preemie. Thankfully, God has put these ladies in front of me that do know and want to enable me to take care of Brinkley myself.
I plan to go back to the hospital to feed Brinkley at 9 pm. My prayer is that I will leave tonight feeling successful and hopeful for tomorrow . If my new friend's prayers (and the prayers of many others) have anything to do with it, I think I will leave knowing today was a successful day!