Ruined

November has been dubbed National Adoption Month and this past Saturday National Adoption Day.  If you have followed our story very long, you are probably aware that our five year old joined our family through the blessing of adoption.  As we approach the fifth anniversary of the day he came home I can't help but think of the process of becoming a forever family.  Adoption starts long before a child is placed in your arms.  

Over the last couple of weeks a video has been circulating around social media sites.  Last weekend I decided to take the time to watch it and I'm glad I did.  (You can see the video here.)  The tagline on the link I clicked said this, "This couple was ruined" and I couldn't think of a more appropriate way to describe the process.  All the memories of our personal journey came flooding back as I watched.  

Bryan and I were married in the summer of 2001 and knew that we wanted to expand our family with children.  About three years later I was driving through town one afternoon listening to an interview on Focus On the Family.  Mary Beth Chapman was talking about their recent adoption of a baby girl from China and the path that led them to her.  I was stopped at the red light at Concord Baptist Church when the Lord clearly placed a call on my heart.  My eyes filled with tears and there was nothing I could do to stop the flow.  (I'm not a crier!)  

In that moment I understood in a way that is indescribable that I was adopted.  When I was an eleven year old girl The Father adopted me.  I became His and He became mine.  Spiritually speaking, I was an orphan.  I needed a family and a home and there He was offering both to me.  I did nothing to deserve it and nothing to earn it.  It was simply His love and grace that offered me a forever family.  In understanding this, I knew just as clearly that I too was called to adopt.  If The Father has freely and lovingly adopted me, I must do the same.  

A dream was born!  How would I ever convince Bryan that this was God's plan for us?  Where would we ever get that kind of money?  At the time I was working for a non-profit and Bryan was working in the office of a box plant.  We made about $48,000 a year and we were both still paying off college debt.  

I came home that night and told Bryan that I had heard the interview and felt like we should look into adoption and get more information.  He had to think that I was crazy, but he agreed to think about.  ( I think this was his way of trying to appease me and hush me up.)  I was on a mission and started doing my research.  At the time I was set on adopting a baby girl from China.  Neither of us was old enough yet to meet the country's requirements, so I was content to continue researching and convincing until then.  

Fast forward to November 2007.  Bryan was now serving as the youth minister of our new church and I was working in a learning center.  Our income wasn't much different, but I had finished paying off my college debt.  I was still on my mission so when our church hosted an informational meeting about foster care and adoption I talked Bryan into going.  My hope was that some of the information would be similar for international adoption as Bryan now met the age requirements and I was only a few months away.  

I could have never imagined what would happen next.  Bryan and I sat on the front row with our pastor and listened as the gentleman from social services talked about the huge need for foster parents in our area.   At one point I looked over at Bryan and I saw the chin quiver begin.  I knew what was to follow.  Within a matter of moments that quiver had turned into full blown crying.  A few minutes later we were given a bathroom break.  Bryan turned to look at me and began to tell me how the Lord had just spoken to him.  The words were identical to the ones He spoke to me at that red light several years before.  Mission accomplished!  

We finished the meeting and took the paperwork.  As we got into the car, Bryan said that he didn't want to wait.  He felt very strongly that foster care was the route that we were supposed to go.  We started the paperwork and turned it in in January of 2008.  We were officially in the process.  We got the call about Reese in December of that year and about two weeks later he came home to live with us.  

We were ruined!  The realization of what Christ has done for us ruined all the plans we had.  It brought us to His plans for us.  I can't imagine our lives without Reese or the new understanding of true love that we have.  

Many people (including our own family) have mistakenly assumed that we adopted Reese because we couldn't get pregnant.  The truth is, we didn't know if we could or not and didn't care.  Like I said, our plans had been ruined and instead, we got a much better plan.  The Lord showed us His plan and there was nothing else we would have rather done!

A purpose for it all

As frustrating as all of these hospital stays can be, I am always amazed at the opportunities that arise in the process.  Thursday night while we were in the ER the nurses asked me about our family.  After telling them about Reese the male nurse (whom we have become quite familiar with) came back and asked if he could ask me some personal questions.  What followed was a lot of questions and discussion about Reese's adoption.  This seems to come up a lot when we are here.  So many people are curious about the process and say that they have thought about adopting.  As they would say at Chick-fil-A, it's my pleasure to share about my Reesey and encourage others to get involved with these awesome kids!

Friday morning when the team made rounds we were so encouraged!  I asked the attending doctor if we needed to notify cardiology that he had been admitted.  He told us that everything looked great with his heart and they were not concerned that this was affecting the heart.  I told him that Dr Raunikar tends to be overly cautious about Brinkley and we would like to at least have him notified even if it wasn't necessary to be seen.  His response was, "Austin Raunikar is an amazing doctor.  It has been my goal to strive to be the kind of doctor that he is."  I nearly cried (and I'm tearing up typing this). 

If you've followed Brinkley's story from the beginning, you know our prayer was never that God would take away Brinkley's conditions, but that He would grant us wisdom in choosing his medical team.  This doctors comments about Dr Raunikar were just further confirmation to us that God has been faithful to honor that prayer.  

As if those two incidents weren't enough to make this stay seem purposeful, after the team left one of the doctors returned.  He asked if he could ask us some personal questions.  His  wife is expecting their first child (she's 36 and he's 51) and is at high risk for Downs.  He asked us a lot of questions about our prenatal journey as well as how things are now.  Again, it was my pleasure to share about our precious Brinkley and to educate someone about DS.  After talking for a few minutes, he shared his story with us and it was so interesting.  He and his wife are both from Iraq.  It was an honor to be able to share with him and I was so impressed that he asked.  

It was kind of ironic that this happened when it did.  GHS is the home of the USC school of medicine in Greenville. One of their programs that I was excited to find out about is one where they send pediatric medical students into the homes of special needs families to observe and learn what life is like at home.  This rotation we are the family that they will be observing, so this doctor's questions were preparing us for the students.  

To bring it all home, my devotion this morning was about blind Bartimaeus.  He approached Jesus and asked him to give him sight.  Jesus responded that his faith had made him whole.  It wasn't his intellect, his money, or his works, but his faith that healed him.  He is an example that faith is all it takes.  It is my job to keep the faith on this journey and to know that He is faithful to answer my prayers and embrace every opportunity that presents itself to me.  He has proven faithful in my prayers for wisdom to this point and will continue to be.  Faith that there is a purpose in this journey.  No more, no less.

Virus, RSV, Pneumonia... Back to GHS

Last Thursday (10/17) Brinkley started running a fever.  Due to the fact he is cutting teeth I was not concerned about the low fever.  However, the fever continued the next day and began to include some coughing.  Saturday the coughing got worse and so did the fever.   None of the things I have be trained to do from home were helping so we headed to the ER.  

Brinkley is really hard to stick due to being stuck so many times.  They were not able to get labs so we had to come back on Sunday for a recheck.  The consensus was that he had a respiratory virus.  

Monday we were scheduled to see Peds Surgery for his regular check on his g-tube.  Our nurse there was also one of our NICU nurses and she has always been very attached to Brinkley.  I told her that I had called pulmonology earlier in the morning to see if they wanted to see Brinkley.  She decided that I was not going to wait for a call back and she called them herself and made arrangements for them to see us immediately.

Our regular nurse at pulmonology (surprise, surprise, she loves Brinkley) came in and took over from the tech that was helping us.  She quickly got his vitals and put us in a room.  Lisa, our NP, checked him out and felt certain that he had RSV.  She tested him and gave us an RSV treatment plan.  Ironically, the RSV screening came back negative but she wanted us to continue the same treatment plan.  Thursday came around and Brinkley did not seem to be making any progress.  Actually, he was getting more miserable. 

That night his temperature reached 102.8 so I called Lisa.  We decided to bring him to the ER, so she called ahead and made arrangements for them to be expecting us.  We arrived around 8:30 pm and finally got admitted and moved to a room around 2 am.  I talked with the various doctors and and nurses and was able to go to bed around 3 am.  Of course, Brinkley was up for the day at 5 am.  Needless to say Friday was a long day!  

So we have been here since Thursday treating pneumonia.  Yesterday seemed to be his turn around day.  He played a good bit and got back to his regular schedule for the most part.  The team plans to send us home tomorrow.  Unfortunately, Brinkley will not be able to be at the Buddy Walk today, but we are excited to be walking for him and hope to see you there!

Team Brinkley Golf Tournament

Saturday, November 2nd Smithfields Country Club in Easley is hosting a golf tournament to benefit Team Brinkley.  Proceeds will assist us with Therapeutic expenses that our insurance doesn't cover, as well as, our travel expenses for visits to MUSC.  We are looking for hole sponsors ($100), silent auction items, and volunteers.  To register a team contact Adam Relan at the above number.  To sponsor a hole contact Sherry Anthony at 864-220-0632 ext 232.  To volunteer or donate to the auction you can contact Bryan or I by phone or email at projectbrinkley@gmail.com.

Zippers

Looks like a typical happy baby right?  Well this is so much more to us.  This picture represents a milestone for Brinkley.  If you look closely, you will notice that Brinkley's sleeper has a zipper.  Unlike most children this is the first time that my 13 month old has ever worn a zip up sleeper.  

Zippers are one of the many things I had never considered before having an extra special baby.  Up until late August Brinkley was dependent upon a feeding tube.  His button where you attach the tube is to the left of his belly button.  It would have been nearly impossible to feed him through the night in zip up pajamas.

The beauty of our journey is that we are learning to appreciate things that most families never have to think about.  We are learning to stop and notice the simple things, the small victories.  This zipper is one of those small victories.  It's one more thing to show us just how far Brinkley has come and how faithful God has been.  

Following Brinkley's last procedure in August he has no longer been dependent on oxygen or his feeding tube.  He's stronger and stronger everyday!  This weekend I've had another opportunity to see how far we've come.  The little guy now has three teeth.  They have come in one after another and just like any kid, he has been a grumpy mess.  He's had a low fever several times during this process, but this week it seemed to linger a little long for me.  

After two days of a low fever he started coughing as well.  Yesterday he was just miserable and very lethargic.  After seeing his temperature at 101.4 with Motrin and Tylenol, I decided I needed to take him to the ER.   The temp was even higher when we got there.  

When the resident came in to check on us I immediately recognized her from a previous hospital stay and she recognized us as well.  Her first statement was, "everyone in Children's Hospital loves this guy."  That was one of those good and bad things.  I hate that the little guy has been there enough that so many of them are VERY familiar with him.  On the other hand it is encouraging to know that they all care about him and want to make sure he gets the best possible care.  

There was a struggle to get lab work.  The attempts were not successful so we were told to come back this morning for a recheck.  Another resident that we met last night came to check on us as well as the attending physician.  After a through exam they agreed that he has a respiratory virus and sent us home.  What, no admission?!  Just another small victory!  A few months ago, a respiratory virus would have sent us to the PICU.  He doesn't even need extra oxygen support.  He gets stronger everyday and we couldn't be more proud of him!  

He still feels pretty crummy and has a nasty cough, so prayers are appreciated.  All in all he is ok and is keeping a smile on his face the whole time.  What a trooper!  We've got one tough and determined little guy on our hands.

Appointments, Appointments, and more Appointments

This was appointment week for us.  Both boys and I had appointments, a total of 12 to be exact.  It was busy to say the least.  This is the first time in several months that we have had such a hectic week.  When Brinkley first came home from the NICU and from MUSC, it was not unusual for our schedule to be like this every couple of weeks.  (I'm not complaining about the slow down!)  

We started our week with a visit to pulmonology and cardiology.  I told Elora, our home health nurse, to be prepared.  We see the nurse practitioner at the pulmonology office and to say that she loves Brinkley is an understatement.  As she was opening the door to come into the room we heard her tell the medical student, "be prepared to fall in love."  Lisa, the NP, was glad to see that we had weened off the 02 and was even more impressed that when they tested him his 02 level was 100%.  (I was a little impressed too!)  We talked through the procedure that Dr White had done at MUSC in August and made our plan for the winter.  Last week they had their first confirmed case of RSV so we were given some pretty strict guidelines to go by for the next few months to protect him from RSV.  Don't be surprised if you don't see him out much.  After cold and flu season, we may start weening off some of his respiratory meds.  Overall they are pleased with his progress and think that he is doing well!

Dr Raunikar, our cardiologist, only had GREAT things to say.  Brinkley's EKG and Echo looked GREAT!  He was extremely pleased and started weening B off one of his heart meds.  Dr Raunikar will be on a mission trip to Vietnam for the next few weeks.  When he returns we will check in with him about the change of meds and go from there.  

Tuesday we had our regular therapy appointments and Reese had a sleep study.  I plan to write a post about the sleep study this week, so be on the look out for that.  Wednesday Brinkley saw Dr Markowitz, the GI, who was also pleased overall with his progress and also wants to start weening him off of meds by letting him outgrow the doses he is currently on. He had some concern about Brinkley's weight, but only wanted to watch it at this point.   We will see him again after the first of the year and hopefully remove the feeding tube!

After seeing Dr Markowitz we went to neurology for our initial visit with Dr Morales.  We had been referred to him when we were struggling with respiratory issues.  There was some concern that an underlying neuromuscular issue could be playing into the respiratory issues.  Dr Morales did a through exam and did not have any concerns.  He said that an MRI would allow him to see if there are any abnormalities that could produce problems, but due to B's pacemaker he can not have an MRI.  A CT scan is the next best option, but Dr Morales said that he does not see anything concerning enough to justify exposing him to the radiation of a CT.   He does not anticipate any problems, but because Brinkley is at higher risk for potential issues we will be seeing him again after the first of the year to check again.    

Thursday we had our regular therapy appointments and we are wrapping up our weekend with the Greenville Buddy Walk tomorrow.  We are excited about the walk and tailgating with Team Brinkley!   You still have time to join us.  The walk is tomorrow at Greenville Tech's Pleasantburg Dr Campus.  We'll be there around 1.  Hope to see you there!

Asking for prayer

One of the things that we have learned on this journey is the power of prayer.  Early on we asked you to pray for wisdom as we selected Brinkley's medical team.  We asked for prayers that he would not need a pacemaker following his first OHS.  We asked for prayers to sustain us as we dealt with being relocated.  We asked for prayer over and over again and God has been faithful.  That's why I am coming to you again and asking for prayer.  This time, however, the prayers are not for us.  The Lord has been gracious to us and I want to beg you to ask the same for some other families.  

In some ways these requests seem to be bringing us full circle in our journey so far.  When we asked you to pray for wisdom in forming Brinkley's team we did not know what was ahead of us and could not have imagined where we were headed.  God has abundantly blessed us with INCREDIBLE doctors that have often gone above and beyond for Brinkley.  In the process we learned that many of them (not surprisingly) share our faith.   During one of our PICU stays at GHS Dr. Bryan Eriksen was the resident assigned to Brinkley.  Dr Eriksen took a particular interest in Brinkley and he studied Brinkley's chronic respiratory issues even after our transfer to MUSC.  He has continued to check on Brinkley and offer thoughts about the respiratory issues.   Brinkley was under his care in the PICU a second time and Dr Eriksen came in and prayed over Brinkley with us (and Reese).  He has been a tremendous help and encouragement to us.  We have aslo had the pleasure of being treated by his sweet wife Sara Beth when Brinkley was admitted on the floor at GHS.  

Both Dr Eriksens are currently serving as medical missionaries in Kenya.  They are being pushed and stretched in their faith and their medical training.  I have no doubt that they are blessing their patients there the same way they have blessed us.  I ask you to pray for them as they are serving as senior medical team members there.  Unlike here, they do not have a team of seasoned doctors to refer to and ask for help.  You can follow their story here.  

Next I would ask you to pray for my dear friend Beth.  She and her husband, Ian, moved to Germany a little over a year ago to serve as missionaries.  They have been working very hard to learn the language and be able to communicate effectively with those around them.  Beth is currently expecting their 4th child and has run into some complications.  I know all too well how scary that can be.  I can't imagine how the language barrier escalates the anxiety involved.  The two families that generally assist them with translations are both away and were not able to go to the last few Dr visits with them.  Please pray for them that the Lord would continue to protect Beth and baby Chadwick.  Also pray for their anxiety and the communication barriers.  

Finally, we have several friends that are currently having struggles with their marriages.  This has become a common theme around us over the last couple of years.  So many of our friends have separated and/or divorced for various reasons.  Marriages are under attack and we need to stand together for our friends and our own marriages.  No one is immune to family problems and no ones marriage is perfect.  It's our responsibility to stand together and fight for our families.  

Thank you for your faithful prayers for our family.  We have seen the power of prayer in our lives and beg you to join us in standing in the gap for these precious families.  

*Please add our friend Charlotte to that as well.  She is dealing with some issues with her foot and needs to find a treatment that works.  She is trying a new treatment today.